Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
