drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
