dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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