Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
