Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Even my vagina gasped.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
