His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
