worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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