Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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