brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
