scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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