too bad you live with your parents still
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
