ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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