It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
