I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He has the fingertips of a God
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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