At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
