giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
