i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
