Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You took a bar mat shot.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
