Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
