I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did I show you my penis last night?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
