Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
