I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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