Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her vagine was all disorganized.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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