she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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