At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
