physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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