Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
