This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
