Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
