i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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