After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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