Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
