turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
