Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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