theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize