I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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