I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
As shirtless as possible
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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