Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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