I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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