So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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