I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
