the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
