I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
