I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
