There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's like heaven, but drunker
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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