Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize