Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
