is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
