he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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