Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
