It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
