I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
