no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
