You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
