the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
