Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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