I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
