Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
