please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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