no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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