i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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