last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
