We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
