I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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