beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
