its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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