Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
