So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
