Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
