hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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