Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
